Also at VO:
There you are again, someone you know is busy talking to you about this and that and blurts out that so-n-so is having some medical procedure done, or that they are a wreck because their marriage is on the skids, or they just found out that their kids are on drugs...or whatever. Maybe you don't even know the one they are 'sharing' about, maybe you do, maybe you even know all about that secret they are spilling, but never spoke of it yourself. But it is clear that underneath what their lips are saying is the real truth. They like to be privy to personal information about others, and they can't keep it to themselves. Most times this is even more mean spirited and insidious than someone that makes up bald faced lies. Because obviously someone trusted them enough to allow that person to see them vulnerable told them the truth and it was betrayed.
It was betrayed not for some substantial gain, or reason, but mostly just because the person telling the tale wanted to let someone else know that others entrust them with secrets. Some people just have to let as many people as possible know that they are the "ONE WITH THE NEWS, THE ONE WITH THE INSIDE STORY", that they know something that you do not.
The sad part is while their lips are still moving I am thinking to myself , I will not be giving them any more intimate info about my life that I wouldn't post on the internet, and that as I listen to them go on, trying to forget what they are saying, that I feel very sorry for the person that they are betraying at the moment.
I make it a point not to tell this sort of person much about my family or life, though they might think I have(or wonder why I have not spoken about them). *s* if I don't tell you about anyone in my life besides just casual folks, or casual factoids..... that should tell you something.
Now I know that there are times we need to rant or get some perspective in relationships with other people. Sometimes we need advice. In such cases I have tried to bring that sort of thing to people other than the ones that might be involved. Talk to internet people about work things, or work people about friendship things, where I can get an unbiased sounding board. There is usually no need to bring names into it either, usually it is the situation that is the issue, not always the person. That is why I find it so stupid and weak to tell someone about so-n-so's relationship. I mean is it important that I know what is going on in their life? Is it a huge impasse in your life to know that someone you hardly know might have some venereal disease? What Am I supposed to do about the guy in the next cubicle and his issue of watching porn at the office all day? Frankly I have nothing to do with any of it and it's NONE OF MY, or your, BUSINESS. Unless you actually want to change anything about it. Of course there are those manipulative, slimy people that hope upon hope that you will be a bigger gossip than they are and pass the story along till it gets to the one it's about in the first place. Then they can sit back smug in their plausible deny ability. "Gee maybe if I tell Lisa that Mark is always padding his expense account, it will get back to Mark and he will stop, or the boss will get wind of it and stop him. Either way, it's not my fault, I didnt rat him out." Yes, just say the word, send out the puppets and watch the fun unfold. What is more fun than seeing just how many people you can get to take your side of things that they have no tie to in the first place. lol That is so much more exciting than to actually deal face to face with someone yourself isn't it. I actually had that happen at work once, someone trying to get me to link my simple situation with one person (that was over as soon as it began), to their long standing list of petty complaints about that person. As if I was key witness to the prosecution, instead of being an adult and dealing with their stuff themselves.
Maybe that is what it smacks of most, laziness. Too lazy to involve themselves in things that would make better conversation, too lazy to come up with other things to talk about,too lazy to carry their issues to the ones they have them with, too lazy to get a life.
"If the only thing you have to talk about is other people's lives, you do not have one of your own."
There is my rant *l* Based in part on my trip.
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So you had a good time?
Excellent
LOL Ahhh Drama Queens. It's like you want to vomit on them but you know the next day everyone you know will be calling you to discuss YOUR drinking problem LOL
Once you've had DEATH you never go back
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