Sloth, Idleness or resting too much.  Aversion to work etc.

Externally I'm a very hard worker. I love to get a list of tasks done and feel the sense of satisfaction that comes from that. So it was difficult to think of myself as slothful, but I am. 

Maybe  sloth is manifesting itself as procrastination.

I thought about some things I have heard said, that retirement is actually "planning for sloth". We work hard and sometimes become miserly when we are saving up for a chance to relax and do nothing. I thought about those that work very hard for their dream. Maybe a big house at the beach where they can spend their golden years with their kids and grandkids. Yes, Everyone will be happy! Not so. The fellow has been so driven by his want for this period of sloth that in the time he worked so hard for it, he was letting his family slip away, neglecting friendships, allowing weeds to grow in his "Spiritual Garden".
No he wasn't lazy, or seemingly idle, yet sloth as a goal cost him.

I can be like that. Complacency, boredom, unwillingness, all of those at their core are sloth in disguise. Life keeps going, and relationships too even when we are not paying attention. Maybe that is what Sloth means to me, a period of not paying attention to things that I value.

I saw a poster once that said "The value something has to you is in direct proportion to the lengths you'd go to to get it back if you lost it."

Then I look at my life and think of the people and things I would put any and all amount of effort towards if I had to get them back, and I ask myself.....why are those things the very ones that I am giving the least amount of time and effort to now?

Have I let weeds that I thought I could yank out anytime go untended till some of the best flowers in my "Spiritual Garden" are dead or suffering?

Sloth can also be about blame for me. If someone can find a way to blame someone else for the things going on in their lives, well, they do not have to put forth any effort to change them. To admit to yourself that you have a part in things means that there is some work to be done, IF you want to change them.  As long as a person is pointing a finger outwards and being a victim, nothing will change. That is a truth for me, and for most everyone else.

Blame is just the practice of saying to the world, "I am a pawn to all of those around me. I have no control or choice in my life."  It just seems embarrassing to me to think about doing that.