How To Get A Date With A Vampire...

Review: 9/10

How To Get A Date With A Vampire...
Review by Anne Fraser, submitted on 08-Jan-1994

(And What To Do With Him Once You've Got Him)

Kiki Olson, Contemporary Books, 1992

Yes, Kindred, this is a real book. My alter ego received it as a birthday present (Dec. 13, and none of your buisness *grin*). Since it was her gift, I hope you will allow her to give the review? Ms. Fraser, they're all yours. Baron Gideon Redoak

Thanks, Baron. _How To Get a Date..._ How to describe this book? It is one of the funniest books I have ever read, an excellent satire on the vampire craze that's currently sweeping the world. Ms. Olson has divided her book into convenient chapters for quick reference, such as Why vampires make better boyfriends, How to spot a vampire, Your first date, Introducing him to your parents, Vampire Astrology, and so forth. She offers such tips as how to dress (like the heroine of a gothic romance.... look frail and helpless), how to cover up those embarrassing hickey marks, what do do when he goes off with other women (which he *will*), the pros and cons of marrying your vampire, how to judge his astrological sign (hint: use the day he became a vampire) and the all-important how to break up before he drains you. It reveals little-known secrets of the vampire world, such as: they really aren't allergic to garlic. They love garlic. But the smell of garlic ruins the romantic mood, so they have to sweeten their breath with mint, and vampires hate the taste of mint!

A word to the wise: this book was written by a woman for women. She does not admit the possibility of gay vampires. I enjoyed it, nontheless, but a certain vampire kept looking over my shoulder and snorting...

At any rate, I do recommend this book, if you can find it.

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Posted by Dracula's Guest
Wed, 08/31/1994 - 20:00

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